Ruby on Growing Up, Gaining Ground...and Gratitude
by RUBY GETTINGER
Ruby's got more to say about her experience shooting season one and saying goodbye to her first 100 pounds. If you missed her first finale post, click here to catch up!
I am so glad I got to go camping. It was the most amazing night. I loved it! I am definitely an outdoorsy girl. The best part of camping was being with Georgia and Jeff, of course, but the second-best part was sleeping under the stars! I LOVED hearing the fish dance in the water at night, listening to the birds and all the sounds of nature; the beautiful fire and the crackling noise it makes, the sunrise and sunset, riding and racing in golf carts.
I was amazed listening to Jeff's and Georgia's childhood memories. I never thought it was a problem that I didn't remember. My family always told me stories about my childhood—I just didn't remember. After seeing Dr. Brewerton, he informed me it was not normal to not remember your childhood. Then I started asking my family and friends if they remembered theirs, and they did. I started realizing Dr. Brewerton was right.
It is very scary to me, the unknown. Why don't I remember anything as a child? I do want to remember my childhood. I want to remember times with my family, the special times my mom tells me about and times with my siblings. So now I am on the quest to remember. There is a big part of me that is very fearful; it's the part that wonders why I forgot. But I have to find out the truth by going into the mental, physical and emotional.
I am so sorry if I have come off as ungrateful, whiney or complaining at times. Sometimes you may not get the big picture when they are editing. I am the most grateful person to everyone who has been in my life, on this journey, all of you!! I am grateful for even the worst people, because they help me become a better person. I am on a journey that is fun, scary, fearful and overwhelming! Some things I am doing for the first time. I am strong-willed, and I know what it's like to get an injury from working out—especially at this weight. I have to be careful and aware. I am eating new foods, and my palate is changing. It's hard, and I am being a scared brat at times about it, but I also overcome.
I want you to know that everything you see on the show is my truth. I would never, ever let the producers lie about who I am, and they never would! I will always fight for my truth. Because I know the truth will set us ALL free!
And just to set the record straight:
- I have never had an expired driver's license! I just went to renew it for my weight. That's when my sweet busybody Jeff had to make sure I got a refresher course on driving.
- Foxy and Lucy have doggie car seats.
- You all following my life unfortunately get to see every emotion come out of Ruby. Unfortunately for me—when I see it, I am humidified (humiliated and mortified)!
- Trying on those pants was hard mentally and physically! Very hard!! But I did it. I just don't feel like I should ever wear a pair of pants until I feel comfortable and when they won't make the bears want to run out of the forest. LOL!
- I started working at the age of 16 and only stopped a few years ago because of a heart problem and problems related to that. I have been on SSI, and I thank God for that. I would have crumbled and died without it. There was a time in my life when I couldn't do anything!! And, yes, at those times, I tried to beat it. I loved working when I did and I will again. I would never, ever take advantage of the system.
I hope this answers a lot of your questions.
Thank you all for being part of my journey. Thank you for believing in me, for supporting me and rooting me on. I truly love you all, and I am so proud of all of you for taking my hand in the spirit until we meet face to face. I'm proud of you for traveling down this road with me. I read your messages on the board and I get your emails on Facebook and MySpace, and I have written back so many of you, and I want you all to know you will get an email or letter back from me. YAY, YAY, YAY!
To all of you who are making baby steps or drastic changes in your lives and say it's because of me: I want you ALL to know that because of you, I am able to stay true and conquer the beast. Guess what—we are helping each other. YAY!
I pray that the message board continues to be a place where we all support each other on this journey. If we have any wisdom, let's give it. We are all on the same road! Let's fight this beast together and win!
Let's remember to be careful with our words and judgments, because you NEVER know about someone else unless you have walked in their shoes. And let's be honest: We will never walk in another's shoes! We may have similarities, but we will never know what it's like to be another person. So lets show compassion to all! Let's beat any beast we have.
Thank you to my family and friends for supporting and believing in me, for being patient with me on this journey and helping my reality be revealed.
Thank you, Style and Gay Rosenthal, for caring enough about me and this problem to help me bring the truth and a real face to this addiction. You are AWESOME!
Thank you, Gay Rosenthal Productions, for revealing my truth and helping me bring it into the light. Thanks to my team, Victoria, Harry, Paul, Nic, Ally, Whitney, Charlise, Jason and everyone back in the GRP and Style offices for working so hard and helping me beat this. YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING THING for thousands of people! You should really feel awesome that you are saving lives.
MY TEAM!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your commitment and love toward me and for helping others overcome. But especially for being patient enough to give me the freedom to get there at my own pace. Trust is the most important thing in this battle.
And a HUGE THANK YOU to my other team...YOU, my friends! You are amazing!! Thank you for your push, belief and unconditional love! (3R's)
