My Journey so far

Ruby Reflects on Her Journey So Far

 by RUBY GETTINGER

Note: This week's episode featured the songs "Everything" by Rob Blackledge and "Gotta Figure This Out" by Erin McCarley.

Hi, y'all! Thanks for watching the season finale this week.

The weight loss camp was amazing, and the kids I met there were too. I loved their spirit! But it was a HUGE reminder to me that society does not accept us. These children have the most beautiful souls and so much love to give. People will never know what they are missing out on by refusing to look beyond someone's shell. I pray all of us can change this starting today, and the first person we need to fix is ourselves.

When I started out on this journey, I never imagined that all that has happened was even possible. God has blessed me every step of the way with all of y'all! I always believed there were more good people in this world than bad, and the support y'all have shown me confirms that.

Y'all have truly been on this journey with me. You saw me go cold turkey from junk food to Ourlife Fresh, and you witnessed how I went from hating it—so much that I felt like I was being punished—to loving it! You've watched me with my family and friends and at Women's Fat Night. (I love my girls!) Y'all have seen my ex-boyfriend Dennycome back  into my life. You've seen me go up and down on the scales and have been there with me in my darkest hours, when I lost my hero, my Daddy, and also my rebel and baby, Lucy.

Everything I do for the first time, y'all do with me; everything I find out, good or bad, so do you. You watched the first time I ever saw a therapist and you saw me ultimately walk out on him. You watched me start off exercising in a chair and walking five minutes and saw me progress to boxing, dancing and more with my new trainers, Drew and Shazia. You watched me walk my first 5k. You watched the first time I played tennis, watched me swim across a pool, sit behind a steering wheel, go camping, fishing, ride a bike, kayak, ride a horse. OH! And let's not forget going to see the Christmas Doctor, Dr. Moses.

I need so badly to tell everyone of y'all who have supported, believed, prayed, emailed and rooted for me: Your messages in the Ruby community and on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter mean everything, and I could neverhave gone as far as I have without each and every one of you! You truly are on this journey with me, even those of you who are fighting a different beast. We come from all sizes, ages, nationalities, colors and backgrounds, and I am honored to call you my friends. I love you and pray for you daily!

For me, losing all this weight is unlocking a person who has always dreamed—and finally letting her live her dreams.

I have always been happy and lived my life, no matter how much I weighed, whether society accepted me or not. I have enjoyed my life and have laughed more than most and always believed in the impossible. I just could never figure out why my weight was so much bigger than me. I could never figure out how in the world it had such control over me. I always felt like I was in a cage. But my cage was decorated so pretty...for some reason I couldn't come out! The cage was always locked by the beast, and every time the beast would leave the door unlocked I would open it slowly and start to come out, only to have the beast come out of nowhere and push me back in. But now I am finding out I always had the key; so what does that mean?

Sometimes a 30-minute show isn't long enough to convey all that is happening with me, and I'm hoping to fill in some gaps by opening up my diary for y'all; it comes out this Tuesday! (But you can preorder it now.) There is a lot about me that y'all still don't know, and I want to share those parts of my life with you! I found I can get through some really tough times without turning to food. In my diary, I share with you a letter I wrote my dad after I lost him. I talk about my babies, Foxy and Lucy…and of course I never knew I would lose one so soon. My older brother Clyde got sick, but instead of turning to food for comfort, I turned to God, friends, family and, of course, my diary.

I've been desperately trying to recover the missing years of my childhood. I have finally recovered my first memory, and I describe it in my diary. The memory came at the oddest time! It really gave me hope that my walls could finally be breaking down. I also share a recurring nightmare I had throughout my childhood, and how I am looking into it.

I want you to know I will reach my goal and my God-given destiny—thanks, in part, to all of you! I believe in ME and YOU! Please fight with me and never give up and let's make our IMPOSSIBLE...POSSIBLE! I know we can!

P.S.: I made a special slideshow to look back at my journey so far and to pay tribute to those of you who I've met along the way.  Click here to watch!

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MY THOUGHTS ON FAITH

Ruby's Thoughts on Faith  by RUBY GETTINGER

Tonight's episode was about disappointment, and struggling and wanting to believe and trust in someone and finding the faith to believe in yourself. It's about finding the faith to believe there is something bigger out there than all of us.

My personal belief is that there is a God. I truly believe in God. In my young-adult life, I went out searching for the truth. I didn't want to believe in God just because my mom believed, and I didn't want to love God just because my family and friends loved Him. I felt I was not being honest. So, I wanted to make sure I believed and loved Him with all of my heart, soul and mind. The Word says, "When you search for Me with all your heart, soul and mind, then you will find Me." [Deuteronomy 4:29] And that's exactly what happened.

I receive a lot of emails asking about my religion and religious people. I agree that some are way too judgmental! I think sometimes when some people get religious, they use it as a platform to judge others and point their finger, when that finger needs to do a U-turn right back at them.

Personally, for me, I believe in God and the Bible. I am disturbed because some people make God look so bad when they judge people so harshly. My God says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" [Matthew 7:1-3]

"Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." [John 13:34-35] I would never want someone to judge and condemn me. Would you? We have no idea what another person is going through or what brought them to their today; we have never traveled down their road. People would look at me and call me a gluttoner. When the truth is, I am not.

We are all unique human beings who grew up with parents, without parents, single parents, siblings, teachers, etc. Every one of these people put their mark on us. Good or bad! Now it's time to put our mark on ourselves. It's time to believe in ourselves, even if we can't find one other person who will. You be that person who believes in you. Find the strength. Dig deep inside and find what all of us have: the will to survive. It's in all of us!

Remember your passion and climb your mountain until you reach the top. Fight your beast during the entire climb, and when you can't fight from exhaustion...sit, rest and wait and then climb again.

God is for us! We can beat this, we will beat this, we all will stand together and beat this.

Imagine what it will feel like when you climb the top of your mountain. When I reach my goal, I want to go to the highest mountain and yell, "I did it! I really did it! Oh my gosh! I did it!" and then to look at you and FINALLY be able to say, and know, "YOU CAN DO IT!!!!" Imagine the feeling of climbing the biggest mountain and at the top of your mountain is FREEDOM!!!

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