Hi ya'll, I have been gettinge a lot of emails/post from my fins trying to find the show. I have enclosed some of the providers that caryy my show in your areas. You can also scroll down and put in your zip code to find the show:
YOU CAN CATCH STYLE ON YOUR DISH NETWORK CHANNEL 115 AND
Note: This week's episode featured the songs "Everything" by Rob Blackledge and "Gotta Figure This Out" by Erin McCarley.
Hi, y'all! Thanks for watching the season finale this week.
The weight loss camp was amazing, and the kids I met there were too. I loved their spirit! But it was a HUGE reminder to me that society does not accept us. These children have the most beautiful souls and so much love to give. People will never know what they are missing out on by refusing to look beyond someone's shell. I pray all of us can change this starting today, and the first person we need to fix is ourselves.
When I started out on this journey, I never imagined that all that has happened was even possible. God has blessed me every step of the way with all of y'all! I always believed there were more good people in this world than bad, and the support y'all have shown me confirms that.
Y'all have truly been on this journey with me. You saw me go cold turkey from junk food to Ourlife Fresh, and you witnessed how I went from hating it—so much that I felt like I was being punished—to loving it! You've watched me with my family and friends and at Women's Fat Night. (I love my girls!) Y'all have seen my ex-boyfriend Dennycome back into my life. You've seen me go up and down on the scales and have been there with me in my darkest hours, when I lost my hero, my Daddy, and also my rebel and baby, Lucy.
Everything I do for the first time, y'all do with me; everything I find out, good or bad, so do you. You watched the first time I ever saw a therapist and you saw me ultimately walk out on him. You watched me start off exercising in a chair and walking five minutes and saw me progress to boxing, dancing and more with my new trainers, Drew and Shazia. You watched me walk my first 5k. You watched the first time I played tennis, watched me swim across a pool, sit behind a steering wheel, go camping, fishing, ride a bike, kayak, ride a horse. OH! And let's not forget going to see the Christmas Doctor, Dr. Moses.
I need so badly to tell everyone of y'all who have supported, believed, prayed, emailed and rooted for me: Your messages in the Ruby community and on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter mean everything, and I could neverhave gone as far as I have without each and every one of you! You truly are on this journey with me, even those of you who are fighting a different beast. We come from all sizes, ages, nationalities, colors and backgrounds, and I am honored to call you my friends. I love you and pray for you daily!
For me, losing all this weight is unlocking a person who has always dreamed—and finally letting her live her dreams.
I have always been happy and lived my life, no matter how much I weighed, whether society accepted me or not. I have enjoyed my life and have laughed more than most and always believed in the impossible. I just could never figure out why my weight was so much bigger than me. I could never figure out how in the world it had such control over me. I always felt like I was in a cage. But my cage was decorated so pretty...for some reason I couldn't come out! The cage was always locked by the beast, and every time the beast would leave the door unlocked I would open it slowly and start to come out, only to have the beast come out of nowhere and push me back in. But now I am finding out I always had the key; so what does that mean?
Sometimes a 30-minute show isn't long enough to convey all that is happening with me, and I'm hoping to fill in some gaps by opening up my diary for y'all; it comes out this Tuesday! (But you can preorder it now.) There is a lot about me that y'all still don't know, and I want to share those parts of my life with you! I found I can get through some really tough times without turning to food. In my diary, I share with you a letter I wrote my dad after I lost him. I talk about my babies, Foxy and Lucy…and of course I never knew I would lose one so soon. My older brother Clyde got sick, but instead of turning to food for comfort, I turned to God, friends, family and, of course, my diary.
I've been desperately trying to recover the missing years of my childhood. I have finally recovered my first memory, and I describe it in my diary. The memory came at the oddest time! It really gave me hope that my walls could finally be breaking down. I also share a recurring nightmare I had throughout my childhood, and how I am looking into it.
I want you to know I will reach my goal and my God-given destiny—thanks, in part, to all of you! I believe in ME and YOU! Please fight with me and never give up and let's make our IMPOSSIBLE...POSSIBLE! I know we can!
P.S.: I made a special slideshow to look back at my journey so far and to pay tribute to those of you who I've met along the way. Click here to watch!
This week's episode was very moving, heartbreaking and sensitive to me. I still can't believe my baby, Lucy, is gone.
My heart is truly broken, and there will always be a huge gap inside me until I see my Lucy again. I can't believe she is gone. My baby is gone, and I can't believe it. I want to share with y'all a letter I wrote to Lucy:
Lucy, the day you were born, God chose me to be your mommy. You gave me the best days of my life. You are my little rebel, fighter till the end! I will miss your soft stomach and the thousands of kisses you gave me a day! No one will ever be so happy to see me like you were. I never had love like yours and Foxy's, and I want to thank you for giving me so much love. Lucy, the best gift you gave me was your sweet eyes! No one will ever look at me like you did. Through your eyes, I felt more love than I deserved. Lucy, Foxy misses you and looks all over for you. My heart and soul will always long for you. Thank you so much for loving me, thank you for your smiles, kisses, sweet eyes and following me everywhere I went, and for how every time you saw me or heard my voice your tail would wag so fast! How ironic that dog spelled backwards is GOD! You both love unconditionally. Lucy, thank you so much for fighting so hard to live for me. I truly know you gave all you had not to leave me. I love you! Foxy and I miss you every second.
I made a picture video on slide.com—it's a place where you can make your own slideshow, and you choose a song. Click here to see my dedication to Lulu.
It was good to share with everyone at Women's Fat Night. How many of us have bought something at the store or off the TV, thinking, "I am going to do this exercise!" And then there it sits in a closet, attic or garage, never being used. Maybe never even opened. We are always buying into that gimmick, and we are all guilty of it. Even though we already know what to do, I love that we all have been there and done that.
And what about the fun we had in the kitchen?! I can't believe we made a yummy meal in 14 minutes. I never, ever knew it could be that easy! Julie and I were the two girls who can't cook. Yet we were both in the kitchen cooking—with Blair and Gene supervising us, of course. I am telling you, they can cook! They are actually the chefs forOurlife Fresh. My tip paid off (with Dr. Bradley's help)! Now that I have learned about portion sizes and healthy foods and have changed my palate, my next step is to learn how to cook.
I have been on this journey a little over a year now, and I believe it is time for me to go deeper into the emotional part. I want to know why food has so much power over me. What was food appeasing for me? What was it securing, hiding and protecting? Maybe it's no longer doing that for me, but at some time (and obviously early on in my life) it became something so powerful that it got me to 716 pounds! And it took total control over me and ended up becoming an addiction. I want to find out the root of the problem.
And I also strongly believe there are additives in our food that cause certain stimulations for us. This may sound crazy to some, but I truly believe this. I believe the steroids they give animals to make them bigger and grow faster have a huge, negative affect on our bodies and minds. I am going to find out the truth. But, first of all, I want to know why, when and where I gave the beast power over me!
Thank you for all your sweet emails, comments, prayers love and support!
PS: Please click on the video below to hear more of Ben's band; they are AMAZING! Ben, Byron and Jeff's song was so sweet!
Hi, y'all! I can never say thank you enough for all your prayers, friendships and love to me on my journey! I have met so many wonderful friends through the message board, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and my Walk Across America. I can't believe all the success stories and battles still being fought—we are finally facing our beast and taking him to the boxing ring, and this time we will not leave until we win.
I am so HACKY to finally be under 350 for the first time in my adult life. That first bike ride was unbelievable. Talk about freedom! Your hair blowing in the wind and sun shining on your face...I felt like the hand of God was on me that day!
We all face some kind of beast, and we can no longer hide from it! It is time for us to face it. No more waiting until tomorrow—our tomorrow becomes years later. Do it today! We all have the strength inside us to fight, but because of other people or past failures it has been pushed way down. Today we will pull it back out and get in the ring together! It's time to face your opponent and fight. By facing it today you are already winning! YAY! I truly believe in you!
I am beginning a new part of this journey: facing myself and trying to figure out what food was pleasing in me. What security blanket was it for me? When did this addiction start, and how and why did I give it so much power? I know in finding the truth to these questions I will be set free. We all will be set free!
I was thinking...The majority of the world drinks, but not everyone becomes an alcoholic. A lot of people have tried drugs, but not everyone becomes an addict. A lot of people have tried cigarettes, but not everyone becomes a smoker. Everyone eats, but not everyone becomes a food addict. There is something deeper to all of this, my friends, and I am determined to find out answers. Please let me know your thoughts on this, and let's help one another!
I want to say one more thing to y'all: You have so much power and strength, and you need to know it! So many of you tell me how many times you have failed and been slapped in the face by your addiction, but after all the failures, you are still searching and trying again. You see the light at the end of your tunnel. For some, the light has grown dim—but you still see it. Don't you see, y'all have so much power and inner strength, because you never, never give up. Even when you think you have, you really haven't. You have so much strength and power; it could probably move a mountain.
Now, let that strength surface and move your mountain! YAY!
I am so honored and happy to have gotten the chance to be on Oprah. She is a strong, amazing woman! She made me feel like I was a guest in her home. From the moment I walked in the door of Harpo Studios, her entire staff made me feel so loved. Starting with the security team, then the producers, makeup artist, hairstylist and her entire staff...they all made me feel like family and treated me so special. To me, that says a lot about Oprah!
It was an Oprah show that was the starting point of my inspiration to get my truth out there and share my weight-loss journey on television, so I had a dream come true when I actually got to talk to her about the ups and downs of my own struggles. (What was also so special to me was meeting Kathy, one of the people I have inspired. It was so exciting!)
I have to say that Oprah is beautiful, stunning, healthy and happy, and I do not think she needs to lose weight at all! (I do sympathize and relate to her blue corn chip addiction. LOL!)
I am so happy she is raising awareness of the problem of obesity and giving a voice to the millions of Americans who are battling the obesity "beast"! I agree with her that weight gain can be a sign that our lives are out of balance and that we need to figure out what we are really feeding.
I do believe with all my heart that this is an addiction like alcoholism or drug abuse. But let me bring a little awareness to this—and maybe this will make some of you understand: When dealing with alcohol or drugs, you have to completely go cold turkey to beat it. With food, we cannot go cold turkey. We have to eat to live! We have to beat our addiction and still taste our addiction. Do you think, if you were to tell an alcoholic, "You still have to drink this every day"—could they beat it?
This is why I believe obesity is such a deadly epidemic in America.
But I believe with all my heart that if we fight, fight, fight and never give up or give in, we can and will beat this. We have to take it one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time to make a lifetime change. Remember, we have to fix the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual if we want to win!
Facing our beast means facing our truth. And the truth will set us free! YAY!
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