My Journey so far

Ruby Reflects on Her Journey So Far

 by RUBY GETTINGER

Note: This week's episode featured the songs "Everything" by Rob Blackledge and "Gotta Figure This Out" by Erin McCarley.

Hi, y'all! Thanks for watching the season finale this week.

The weight loss camp was amazing, and the kids I met there were too. I loved their spirit! But it was a HUGE reminder to me that society does not accept us. These children have the most beautiful souls and so much love to give. People will never know what they are missing out on by refusing to look beyond someone's shell. I pray all of us can change this starting today, and the first person we need to fix is ourselves.

When I started out on this journey, I never imagined that all that has happened was even possible. God has blessed me every step of the way with all of y'all! I always believed there were more good people in this world than bad, and the support y'all have shown me confirms that.

Y'all have truly been on this journey with me. You saw me go cold turkey from junk food to Ourlife Fresh, and you witnessed how I went from hating it—so much that I felt like I was being punished—to loving it! You've watched me with my family and friends and at Women's Fat Night. (I love my girls!) Y'all have seen my ex-boyfriend Dennycome back  into my life. You've seen me go up and down on the scales and have been there with me in my darkest hours, when I lost my hero, my Daddy, and also my rebel and baby, Lucy.

Everything I do for the first time, y'all do with me; everything I find out, good or bad, so do you. You watched the first time I ever saw a therapist and you saw me ultimately walk out on him. You watched me start off exercising in a chair and walking five minutes and saw me progress to boxing, dancing and more with my new trainers, Drew and Shazia. You watched me walk my first 5k. You watched the first time I played tennis, watched me swim across a pool, sit behind a steering wheel, go camping, fishing, ride a bike, kayak, ride a horse. OH! And let's not forget going to see the Christmas Doctor, Dr. Moses.

I need so badly to tell everyone of y'all who have supported, believed, prayed, emailed and rooted for me: Your messages in the Ruby community and on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter mean everything, and I could neverhave gone as far as I have without each and every one of you! You truly are on this journey with me, even those of you who are fighting a different beast. We come from all sizes, ages, nationalities, colors and backgrounds, and I am honored to call you my friends. I love you and pray for you daily!

For me, losing all this weight is unlocking a person who has always dreamed—and finally letting her live her dreams.

I have always been happy and lived my life, no matter how much I weighed, whether society accepted me or not. I have enjoyed my life and have laughed more than most and always believed in the impossible. I just could never figure out why my weight was so much bigger than me. I could never figure out how in the world it had such control over me. I always felt like I was in a cage. But my cage was decorated so pretty...for some reason I couldn't come out! The cage was always locked by the beast, and every time the beast would leave the door unlocked I would open it slowly and start to come out, only to have the beast come out of nowhere and push me back in. But now I am finding out I always had the key; so what does that mean?

Sometimes a 30-minute show isn't long enough to convey all that is happening with me, and I'm hoping to fill in some gaps by opening up my diary for y'all; it comes out this Tuesday! (But you can preorder it now.) There is a lot about me that y'all still don't know, and I want to share those parts of my life with you! I found I can get through some really tough times without turning to food. In my diary, I share with you a letter I wrote my dad after I lost him. I talk about my babies, Foxy and Lucy…and of course I never knew I would lose one so soon. My older brother Clyde got sick, but instead of turning to food for comfort, I turned to God, friends, family and, of course, my diary.

I've been desperately trying to recover the missing years of my childhood. I have finally recovered my first memory, and I describe it in my diary. The memory came at the oddest time! It really gave me hope that my walls could finally be breaking down. I also share a recurring nightmare I had throughout my childhood, and how I am looking into it.

I want you to know I will reach my goal and my God-given destiny—thanks, in part, to all of you! I believe in ME and YOU! Please fight with me and never give up and let's make our IMPOSSIBLE...POSSIBLE! I know we can!

P.S.: I made a special slideshow to look back at my journey so far and to pay tribute to those of you who I've met along the way.  Click here to watch!

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Ruby Talks Oprah, Addiction and Staying Motivated

Ruby Talks Oprah, Addiction and Staying Motivated

by RUBY GETTINGER

I am so honored and happy to have gotten the chance to be on Oprah. She is a strong, amazing woman! She made me feel like I was a guest in her home. From the moment I walked in the door of Harpo Studios, her entire staff made me feel so loved. Starting with the security team, then the producers, makeup artist, hairstylist and her entire staff...they all made me feel like family and treated me so special. To me, that says a lot about Oprah!

It was an Oprah show that was the starting point of my inspiration to get my truth out there and share my weight-loss journey on television, so I had a dream come true when I actually got to talk to her about the ups and downs of my own struggles. (What was also so special to me was meeting Kathy, one of the people I have inspired. It was so exciting!)

I have to say that Oprah is beautiful, stunning, healthy and happy, and I do not think she needs to lose weight at all! (I do sympathize and relate to her blue corn chip addiction. LOL!)

I am so happy she is raising awareness of the problem of obesity and giving a voice to the millions of Americans who are battling the obesity "beast"! I agree with her that weight gain can be a sign that our lives are out of balance and that we need to figure out what we are really feeding.

I do believe with all my heart that this is an addiction like alcoholism or drug abuse. But let me bring a little awareness to this—and maybe this will make some of you understand: When dealing with alcohol or drugs, you have to completely go cold turkey to beat it. With food, we cannot go cold turkey. We have to eat to live! We have to beat our addiction and still taste our addiction. Do you think, if you were to tell an alcoholic, "You still have to drink this every day"—could they beat it?

This is why I believe obesity is such a deadly epidemic in America.

But I believe with all my heart that if we fight, fight, fight and never give up or give in, we can and will beat this. We have to take it one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time to make a lifetime change. Remember, we have to fix the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual if we want to win!

Facing our beast means facing our truth. And the truth will set us free! YAY!

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MY FINALE AND FINDING HOPE

Ruby on Finales and Finding Hope by RUBY GETTINGER

Hi, y'all!

It is the finale for the first season, and yes, I will let you follow along my journey till the end. Can you believe it? In seven months, I have lost 104 pounds! That averages out to be about 14 pounds a month; that is 1 pound every two to three days. YAY! I am hacky wacky about it. I still have over 200 pounds more to lose! WOW!

But I am determined to win for me and you! It is the hardest battle of my life. But this is the battle for my life. For the first time, I really got it! I really got it that this was killing—and will kill—me. It is not only about the weight, y'all, it's what having 10 to 100, to 200, to 300 extra pounds will do to you. The scary thing to me, even knowing this, is that I have to fight to beat this. This is an addiction!

Addiction is a dependence on a behavior or substance that a person is powerless to stop. The term has been partially replaced by the word dependence for substance abuse. Dependence is the state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else. Substance is the most important element in any existence; the characteristic and essential components of anything; the main part.

Yes, Ruby has been doing her homework. LOL! Y'all, for the first time in my life, I am having to look at the mental part as to why I got as high as 716 pounds. And why, in my adult life, I have never made it below 350. I am facing the BEAST!

I find it strange how fearful I am of the beast. I feel he is always out to get me, that he is in hiding and will appear when I least expect him to. In the past when he appeared, I didn't know until it was too late. He has disguises on. He comes in love and beauty, and I am blindsided. Then, when I know it's him and I defend myself, I lose. Why? I do not know yet. Is it because he is much stronger and bigger than me, or is it that I get tired? I do not know yet, but I am going to find out.

There has been a lot of dispute over whether or not obesity is a disease. I do not know yet, because I am only at the beginning of my journey. That is something I want to know and find out. People have their opinions on this matter, and I have to say, I see both views.

The meaning of disease: A pathological condition of a part, organ or system of an organism resulting from various causes, such as infection, genetic defect or environmental stress, and characterized by an identifiable group of signs or symptoms. A condition or tendency, as of society, regarded as abnormal and harmful.

I do know this for a fact: Whatever this is, it's not as simple as, "Just go on a diet and lose weight." It is bigger than that! If it were that simple, I would have won a long time ago. I do know eating wrong and having extra weight on your body will kill you mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Our frames were only meant to carry a certain amount of weight. If my knees, back, legs and shoulders could talk, they would be telling me off. Trust me: We are doing so much damage to our joints, heart, kidneys, etc.

How can our minds allow us to do this? Isn't it crazy that our bodies, minds, emotions and hearts are all one, but they are constantly battling against one another? I still do not get it all, because I am still at the beginning of my journey. This has been part one of the journey. We are about to start part two…

Click here for more finale thoughts from Ruby!

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FASHION, FRIENDS...AND FAT NIGHT

Ruby on Fashion, Friends...and Fat Night

 by RUBY GETTINGER

Hi, y'all!

I was so hacky when I lost some more weight in this week's episode, and it was sweet of Brittany to come to town and try to find me new clothes. But I knew it was going to be impossible. I know I have lost a lot of weight, but I still have several hundred pounds to go. I always had clothes made for me, and every once in a while, if I was lucky, I might find something to fit me. But I have never been able to choose what I really liked.

I am hacky wacky about losing weight, and I love going shopping with my beautiful friends Brittany, Georgia and Lindsey. I love watching them try things on and decorating them. I love helping my friends find outfits that make them feel good and look incredible.

Yes, I called the support group Ruby's Fat Night! Some of them said, "Let's call it Chubby or Tubby Night." I did not like those names at all. I think they are uggie! So, we all have trouble with a name for Ruby's Fat Night. But to me,fat is not an ugly word. I want people to see fat is beautiful, and everyone finally agreed!

I called a support group together like Overeaters Anonymous. I wanted to get one started for all of us. Watching and hearing and looking at my friends made me so proud of every one of them. They are beautiful girls, inside and out, who deal with the same issues I have, though in different realms. We all want to beat the beast. They are the sweetest and most loving and compassionate women you will ever meet. Leslie, Chellie, Judy, Vernita, Georgia and Joan, I love you all! We can beat this, and we will. I sit there and think to myself how many people (men and women) are missing out on the most beautiful friends, loves, etc., because they judge us all on the outside.

I think everyone in every city and state needs to start a support group to discuss and walk with. Come on, y'all, we can do it! Lets fight together! :O)

When Dr. Bradley told me about Anthony Miller from the Savannah College of Art and Design, I was nervous. He's a fashion guru, and I knew he had no idea what he was dealing with. Especially when I heard his pause in the phone call. When I saw in the episode where Anthony said, "Fat is not fashion to me," and then, "too much poundage to absorb," it shocked me! I was hurt at first. But then I said to myself, "Ruby, he is a fashion guru. He doesn't deal with women or men who are 400 to 500 pounds." I really had to understand and did. It touched my heart when Anthony said he was transformed and that "design is design, no matter if you're designing a size 6 or a 3X." And then he said, "[This experience] made me a better person." Anthony and students, I LOVE YOU! You made me feel normal!

Just to let everyone know, I love my Anthony, and he is one of my biggest supporters. YAY!!!

For plus-size fashion resources, visit our Living Large section. 

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